My Nature

This might come as a surprise but...

I'm A LOT!

Just a lot of, well, everything.  

I do everything at full-speed and 100%. 

Except the laundry. 

I hate the laundry. 

I really, really hate it. 

But I digress...

I put 100% into everything I do. Could be knitting, painting, cake, business, friendships, love life, motherhood...whatever. I push myself all the time. 

I don't just accept a challenge, I tackle it. 

I'm a fighter and I always get back up. 

I just can't stay down. 

When I was diagnosed with cancer there was only one way for me to handle it. The same way I handle everything else: full steam ahead, gloves up, no hesitation. 

From lump to chemo, I knew I would fight. I was not going to let that bitch win!

I've been competitive my entire life, I hate to be doubted and I love to prove people wrong!

My mom knew this and used to tell my swim coaches that the best way to motivate me was to tell me they didn't think I could do something. 

That was how I set the 50M butterfly record in high school and the diving record in college. 

I come from a family who works hard, doesn't give up and doesn't shy away from confrontation. 

I was raised by very strong-minded people, but it's also my nature. 

Dictionary.com defines nature as: the basic or inherent features of something especially when seen as characteristic of it. 

I think that Aesop demonstrated nature best in the fable The Scorpion and the Frog: 

Drawing by Michael Morgenstern

A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion says, "Because if I do, I will die too." 

The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown, but has just enough time to gasp, "Why?

Replies the scorpion: "Its my nature..." 

Many times in my life, I have cut my nose off to spite my face because I speak my mind. 

One of the things I also do 100% is talk...even when I know I shouldn't. 

It's my nature. 

But, my nature keeps me from quitting...I just don't.  

While it is my nature, my drive also comes from my parents. Dad was a sailor. In all the years we sailed I think we dropped out of two races. One was because we hit something and ripped the rudder off the stern of the boat and the other was total lack of wind, the crew was threatening mutiny and a keg party awaited us. 

Dad was a smart man who knew when to cut his losses! 

While we were never a horse family, the philosophy of "getting back on the horse" was practiced. Failure wasn't really a failure unless you gave up trying.

When I was in high school I was practicing for the summer Tri-County diving championships and was temporarily distracted...in mid air...and landed flat on my back in the water...in front of everyone!  

I was crying hysterically, was going to give up and go home but mom wouldn't let me. Through gritted teeth she told me to stop whining and get back on the board. 

Yeah, my back hurt...like hell actually...but my pride was hurt worse and the only way to get over that was to get back up there and show it who's boss! 

I did get back on the board, I did execute the perfect dive and I did win Tri-County that year! 

Everyone will fall down and make mistakes and everyone will fail at some point in their lives. Life is not a cake-walk. It's hard, messy and can be painful.

When I was a kid if I said something wasn't fair dad would always reply, "No one ever said life was fair." 

He was right. It's not. 

But, it can be filled with a myriad of blessings and lessons that will make us better and stronger. 

You can live in the negative or you can see the opportunity. 

Your choice. 

Failing at something is different from being a failure. 

Failing is an opportunity to improve and correct, failure is a mindset. 

Failure, to me, is the equivalent of being a victim. 

I am not a cancer victim, I am in the process of becoming a cancer survivor. 

There is a difference. 

Besides, it's my nature. 

Bee Hives, Pneumonia And Lobsters, Oh My!

Over the winter my hubby assembled two new bee hives and we are now awaiting the call to go pick up the colonies and their queens any day now.

Once the hives were assembled hubby took the boys to the hardware store to let them pick out their own colors so that they could help him paint the "bee houses."

In preparation of the arrival of the bees the boys (all three) have been learning about the colony, the workers and the queen.

It's been a very fun process that involves books and videos and even some TV shows. I now know more about bees than I ever thought possible...especially because I am allergic to the little buggers!

The roller coaster of life continues to astound me. One day up, the next down. Last week was a low one.

In fact last week was pretty much a nightmare.

In true three-year-old fashion David stuffed a raisin up his nose Wednesday night.

He was not able to blow it out and the pediatrician was unable to locate it the next day. He assures me that he can still feel it up there.

I truly hope not.

The following morning Daniel woke up with a fever of 102.6. It dropped below 100 after a dose of Tylenol but I still called the doctor to check to see if they wanted to see him. I was advised to keep an eye on him but that if the fever spiked to 105 to go to the ER.

Just after 8pm that night we arrived in the local ER because Daniel's fever had spiked to 105.5!

Within one hour they had him through triage, in a bed, flu tested, given Tylenol and x-rayed to check his lungs for pneumonia.

He tested positive for the flu and for pneumonia. I immediately felt like the worst mom on the face of the earth.

How could I have missed this? What did I do wrong? What should I have done? How did this happen? He was in the pool the day before for over an hour until I physically removed him so we could eat lunch!

How can you be swimming one day and have pneumonia the next?!

Seriously...how does that even happen?!

We were in the ER just under three hours. In that time they ran a flu test, blood tests, took x-rays, hooked up an IV and administered both fluids and antibiotics.

The following day David and I headed to the grocery store to stock up on fruit and a few other staples to get through the weekend/Holiday.

This was the first time that I'd had only one child with me in the grocery store and we had a pretty good time picking things out together.

David is a really smart kid. His verbal skills are above average and his memory is astounding. He picks up on things that most adults don't and even conjugates verbs properly!

The level of his intelligence became very obvious while looking at the lobster tank in our local grocery store. I pointed out that most of the lobsters were pretty small with the exception of one that was considerably larger than all the rest.

"Maybe that's the queen," David replied.

Um...maybe.