Patience...

...is a virtue I lack. 

Everything involved with this process involves waiting and it is beyond stressful. 

Have a test? 

Wait for the result. 

Have a question? 

Wait for the reply. 

Follow up with the doctor? 

Wait for that appointment. 

Want to schedule surgery? 

You'll have to wait a few weeks to get on the roster. 

AAAAAAAAAAAAH! 

I do have a surgery date though. 

May 17, 2021 will be the day I go in for the double mastectomy.

Yes, I have to wait another 18 days for that too! 

But...

No more bras!!!! 

I decided that I am definitely not interested in having the reconstruction done as the statistics for additional surgeries/failure are really high. Instead, I have a beloved friend who has agreed to design a chest tattoo for me. 

I am so excited and can't wait to see what she creates!!! 

In the meantime, we are still waiting for the Her2 pathology. 

What is HER2?

The human epidermal growth factor receptor 2 (HER2) gene is responsible for producing HER2 proteins. HER2 proteins are present on the surface of some breast cancer cells. When they’re activated, they signal breast cancer cells to divide and multiply. 

Normally, HER2 proteins regulate and control the growth of breast cells. But when the HER2 gene is mutated, which is the case in about 1 in every 5 cases of breast cancer, it makes too many HER2 proteins. This results in breast cells growing and dividing out of control.

So you can see why this is important pathology! 

I had a bone scan that showed a weird thing with my spine that the radiologist says is most likely degeneration but it also is in the area where I had a spinal fusion in 1990. I will have to have a CT scan to double check and rule out anything else. 

Next week I meet with a genetic counselor but I'm not entirely sure why and I will also see my surgeon again to go over the tests and discuss surgery. Hopefully, we'll have the Her2 back. 

With the surgery date set, I have begun to prep. 

My employees (greatest people on the face of the earth BTW) are  ready to jump in and do whatever is necessary. My business partner has been training extra people to cover shifts in our store and I have added a ton of people to the pick-up list at the kids’ school. 

After surgery it will be a minimum of two weeks before I can really do anything so another friend and pink ribbon sister has set up a Take Them A Meal link for people to help out. This is the link if you would like to sign up. https://takethemameal.com/FYPS6898  

Countless numbers of people have offered assistance for things from folding our laundry (you are saints) to transporting the boys to their activities. Even my hubby’s employer told him to take whatever time he needs. 

No matter what, this is a crappy situation but the outpouring of love and support has blessed us with peace of mind and we couldn’t ask for more!  

Until next time ladies...

Check your Tits!

As you most likely know by now I was diagnosed with Invasive or Infiltrating Duct Carcinoma two weeks ago. I am now stuck in the hell hole called waiting.

I see the plastic surgeon on Wednesday 4/21, Bone Scan is 4/26 and Breast MRI is 4/28.

Hurry up and wait. Right?

I am a stage one but have a grade two cancer. Meaning...right now it's contained within my breast but is growing moderately fast.

Knowing that the cancer is continuing to grow while I wait to see doctors and get tests done is easily the most stress inducing thing I've endured.

I know that feeling this way is normal, but it doesn't make it any easier.

I was discussing my cancer/prognosis with a friend and told her that I'd posted the news on Facebook and she replied, "Really? Why would you do that?"

Why? Because I have friends all over this country and just couldn't possibly call everyone.

Why? Because this is some serious shit. While the cancer is stage one and was caught early it is a moderately fast growing carcinoma that if undetected could easily have been worse. People need to be educated and most people don't think it will get them until it hits someone they know.

Why? Because nothing, absolutely nothing good grows in the dark. I'm not a secretive person unless I have to be. I meet obstacles head on and don't waste time on BS.

Why? Because I'm going to need help at some point and if people know what is going on they will be more likely to help when asked. I also know that I can get stuck in my own head and asked for people to keep the pity low and humor high. It will help me deal on the bad days.

Why? Because, despite all that is wrong with Facebook it is an excellent forum to educate. Another friend said recently, "For some reason God needs you to educate the rest of us on boobs." I will gladly carry the torch of education especially if it helps save others. If you haven't done it yet, make the mammogram appointment. You HAVE to have a baseline so the doctors know what's there and if something changes. Do mammograms hurt? Hell yes! But it's temporary.

Why? Because DNA. Yeah this crap runs in my family. There is no amount of good eating or exercise that would prevent this. Know your family history. If you're not sure, ask!

Why? Because there is no morality involved in have breast cancer or any cancer for that matter. Boobs, ta tas, tits, breasts, jugs, knockers...whatever you call them are just part of our anatomy. They are nothing to be ashamed of and we need to be in touch with our own bodies so we know when something isn't right. Ladies, check your tits! This shit is real, sneaky, invasive and not something that can be ignored. Oh and the cancer can grow where you can't feel it so get the damn mommogram already.

Why? Because I care. A friend was diagnosed with breast cancer a couple of years ago. She is fine but only because it was caught early. I was inspired by her to get my mammogram done as I'd been putting it off. As a result, they had a great baseline and when I went in three weeks ago they knew right away that something was wrong. Had this been my first time the wheels may have turned more slowly or I may have not taken it seriously at all. If sharing my experience saves others than my job was done.

Do I have a tough road ahead? Well, yeah I do but I have an amazingly supportive hubby, fantastic kids, a wonderful family, incredible staff, fabulous business partner and the greatest friends a girl could hope for. Last but certainly not least I have a loving God who has put all these people in my life to help lift me up and carry me when it gets tough. 

I am not alone and right now that is the best gift!

It will get tough, but we will get through this with love and laughter.

Oh...and don't forget the laundry...always laundry.