I have undergone 9 rounds of chemo and have three left! After tomorrow there will only be two.
Tomorrow I hit double digits!
After I passed 6 I was super excited. Think about it… I had officially crested the top of the mountain and was headed downhill.
Because I was there for treatment 7 ( first round of the second half of my treatments,) I celebrated with tiara and sash that said "Survivor." When I walked into the reception area the ladies at the registration desk cheered!
I made the round in the reception area waving like the Miss America while the other patients applauded.
Someone asked if it was my last treatment day. When I explained that it was the start of the second half the other chemo patients completely understood.
To say that I was excited was an understatement.
Honestly, I was pretty hyper on the way to chemo.
My crazy, giddiness drives my husband up a wall.
I think if he could have pushed me out of the car on the way there, he would have.
We are the ultimate Yin and Yang couple.
According to the website personaltao.com, Yin means shady side and Yang means sunny side. Guess as which one I am :)
I like to be the sunny one. I love that "gotcha" moment when I surprise people with a joke or by being silly.
I love to make them smile!
Between hats, headbands and sunglasses, being bald has given me the greatest opportunity to be silly in my life.
The best part of my silliness is that I get to make the staff at the cancer center laugh.
I can't imagine how difficult their jobs are.
A few weeks ago, after a particularly humorous visit with my oncologist she said, "Thank you so much. It's probably the only time today that I'm going to laugh."
I wanted to cry.
My appointment was at 8:30 in the morning. Imagine how long her days must be!
I've had tough jobs in my lifetime but nothing like that.
By nature, I am a caretaker. It's just who I am. I like to help people. I earned the nickname “Mommy V” long before I ever had kids.
Years ago, after my dad was diagnosed with bladder cancer we brought him home to heal him enough to withstand chemo. Unfortunately, every calorie we fed him, fed the cancer and it ravaged him. There was nothing we could do to help him. By the time he went in for surgery the cancer had perforated his bladder wall and spread into his abdomen. There was no way to stop it. The most we could do was keep him comfortable.
Not being able to help him is the stuff my nightmares.
I would imagine that everyone at the oncologist's office feels the same way. They went into the field of oncology to help others but there will be some who, despite the team's best efforts, will lose the battle to the beast that is cancer.
I can't imagine what it's like to go into work every day knowing that you may have to look someone in the eyes and tell them that there is nothing more they can do.
These are the people that I get to make laugh.
For a brief period of time, could be 10 seconds, could be 5 minutes I get to help them escape reality and laugh with me or given my attire, at me. Seriously can you think of a better honor.
What an incredible gift God has given me. I am so grateful.
It is such a blessing. The nurses, techs and even the doctors have told me they look forward to "Vanessa Days.”
Last week was chemo round 9!
And I arrived with a Shark headband singing “Chemo Shark do do do do do do.”
Got a few people to sing with me! Others cheered and one of the nurses announced my presence by shouting “Chemo Shark has arrived!”
Only three more to go! I need to top what I’ve done already!
Making them happy makes me happy and gets me out of my head. I can worry and bring myself down but I just hate to feel that way.
I have battled depression most of my adult life. Drifting to the land of the depressed is terrifying for me. Sometimes I get through quickly and others it’s a long, scary time and no one has any idea when it will end.
I have discovered that allowing myself to experience my emotions when they hit is very helpful. By doing so I am not shaming myself for have bad synapses in my brain, but I am just going through what I’m going through when it happens. I seem to make it to the other side so much faster this way.
The exhaustion can cause the depression to flair, so I’ve kept my additional antidepressant drug in my regimen until I’m on the other side of this. I usually use it for winter months.
I’m looking forward to waking up in the morning not needing a dose of Imodium, antinausea medication and nine naps.
I’m also very excited for the weekly “Surprise You Have A New Side Effect” game show to come to an end.
Today I lost most of both big toenails.
Yeah, it was as unpleasant as you’re imagining.
At this point I am struggling!
With so many incredible chemo perks, I just don’t know how to choose a fav!
Which would you choose:
· Nosebleeds
· Steroid acne…everywhere
· Diarrhea
· Nausea
· “Salty with a hint of blood” taste in the mouth…constantly. We’ve discovered that its bloody postnasal drip.
· Acid reflux. The aforementioned postnasal drip exacerbates this.
· Hair loss
· I get folliculitis (scalp zits)
· The fatigue is astounding. Need to nap now!
· I have learned what neuropathy in my feet feels like and it’s very painful. I packed my feet in ice, took a Percocet and went to bed.
· Some days nothing, not even coffee, tastes good.
· My skin itches and a I get chemo rash on my hands.
· No need to shave my legs this summer – this really is a perk!
· Chemo brain – I’d tell you, but I can’t remember.
I love the steroids the give me with the infusion. I’m superhuman for about 48 hours and then crash like Lindsay Lohan!
I’m not the best at resting. I am action oriented and prefer to do things. Especially if someone needs help.
If someone is sad, I cheer them up. If they need a joke, I’m their girl. If I can be silly and help take their mind off things for a while. I’m the girl.
It’s such a simple thing to do and has such an amazing reward!
For Chemo round 8 I arrived with my head bedazzled but it was hidden under the band on the hoop hat I was wearing. They come in sets of two. You put one on your head and another person puts one on theirs. Then you throw ping pong balls at each other until one gets theirs all in the other’s hoop.
No one else would wear the hoop hat but I did have all the other patients throwing ping pong balls at me.
Both the infusion center and doctor’s office were still talking about it last week and laughing while doing so.
Last week I spent Monday in bed and wasn’t even able to get David to gymnastics. I apologized and cried. He wrapped his little arms around my neck and said it was ok because I was sick.
My nurse practitioner said we treat the cancer and manage the side effects. Sometimes the management works better than others. This week was two days in bed, but I got through it.
There seems to be a drug to counter most of the symptoms caused by chemo except chemo brain.
Chemo brain is a real thing, but not for three years mom. (Seriously, you milked that forever!)
My memory is just shot. There will be something that I need to look up but the time it takes me to pick up the phone and enter my security code, I will forget what I was doing!
So. Freaking. Annoying.
I have had to set reminders on my phone for EVERYTHING! But it helps keep me organized.
Three weeks of treatments left and then this will be but a memory.
This chapter will close and something amazing will begin.
I have my trust placed firmly in the hands of Jesus.
31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:32
Great things lie ahead.
I can't wait to soar!!!
