The Signing

After the seizure I saw a neurologist who signed off on my paperwork stating that I was ok to drive. Did you know that if you have a seizure you have to have papers signed? Yeah, me either but I did and he did so all is good.

Mostly...

As I mentioned in my previous post, Wellbutrin can cause seizures. According to the FDA: "Bupropion is associated with seizures in approximately 0.4% (4/1,000) of patients treated at doses up to 450 mg/day. This incidence of seizures may exceed that of other marketed antidepressants by as much as 4-fold."

When I mentioned this to the doctor he got that glazed over look that I used to give people when they'd say, "You're from NJ do you know my cousin Richard?" Um....

Anyway, I went on to explain that Glaxosmithkline paid the government $3.4 billion for fraud and false promotion of Wellbutrin and about six other medications. The settlement was explained on July 2, 2012 in The New York Times: "In the largest settlement involving a pharmaceutical company, the British drugmaker GlaxoSmithKline agreed to plead guilty to criminal charges and pay $3 billion in fines for promoting its best-selling antidepressants for unapproved uses and failing to report safety data about a top diabetes drug, federal prosecutors announced Monday. The agreement also includes civil penalties for improper marketing of a half-dozen other drugs."

"If GSK (as they are now known) is willing to lie about it's uses are they willing to lie about their frequency of the side-effects?" I asked. The glazed look vanished and the doctor's eyebrows shot up to his scalp. Despite still wearing a mask it was obvious that I'd made him think.

He signed my papers :)

He did ask me to follow up with an EEG to make sure that everything was firing properly but that wouldn't happen for a few months. Guess it wasn't an emergency huh?! 

Stopping the Wellbutrin proved to be an depressing nightmare! My Seasonal Affective Disorder was pretty bad and I was suffering. I told my mom what was going on and she called her chiropractor

It's a non-invasive test that measures electrical activity in your brain.

The test lasts about an hour. It's in the dark with eyes closed...I fell asleep.

The tech and I were laughing about how often you get to go to a medical appointment and get to nap!

The worst part is the goo they use as a conductor between the electrode and the scalp. I couldn't wait to get home and wash my hair!

The results came back clear and confirmed that I do have a brain. 

This spring has been a whirlwind of activity in general.

Between bridal shows and open houses I have been crazy busy. The month of May has been torturously busy with the weekend of May 19, being the busiest ever. Three weddings, an open house, a birthday and a piano dedication.

I got it all done with lots of coffee and help from some friends!

Between the neurologist appointment and the EEG I also finished the tattoo.

IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

It really did.

Not where my boobs used to be but down the center on my sternum. Holy heck was it painful.

I used some of the leftover lidocain cream that I had from my port to numb the area. It gave me a solid hour of relief while my the artist worked but at the end it was really, really tough!

I had the incredible opportunity to create a super cool cake for Cheval, who designed my tattoo. It was going to be the first time we were together since the tattoo was finished and I was so excited!

The bridal shop where we met installed a pop-up shoe shop and Cheval was going to be there for the launch.

The cake was a hit but her reaction to it was everything! 

She truly is the nicest person on the face of the earth.

I loved that I was able to show her the finished work and have her sign it! I will be adding it to the tattoo as soon as I can get in for an appoinment.

I had to miss my last appointment with my oncologist because I woke up feeling really nauseous. 

I'm really bummed too because it was supposed to be on Cinco de Mayo! I was all prepared. 

I see her the end of this month and need to come up with something fun. 

The boys' last day of school is six days away and I can't wait! Looking forward to swimming and daytime excursions with them. 

That's about all for now. 

Stay well my friends. 

. 

I Want It All...Just Not Right Now

Two and a half is an amazing age!

The rate that our boys learn is astounding. 

Their verbal skills leave our mouths hanging open on a daily basis and their memories are incredible! 

Days fly by in a blur and no matter what I do I never have enough time. 

This was much worse when I had a full time cake assistant. 

Since I started the cake business, I've dreamt of becoming a household name and having a booming cake business. I wanted to have this amazing reputation and be sought after for every major event that could be enhanced with a specialty cake.

I did it! 

With Ismael's help we were completing eight orders a week that consisted of anything from 19 dozen cupcakes and multiple tiered cakes with oodles of flowers to carved cakes made to look like cartoon characters or trucks. 

I attended networking events as often as I could. Invested in being the sponsor at the Southern Chester County Chamber of Commerce monthly Network at Noon Luncheon and provided cupcakes and cake pops for the WSFS Bank After Hours Business Card Exchange and the Hotties for Humanities fundraising nights. We were booming! 

My dream had come true!

Woohoo!!! 

I was miserable...

I was paying my assistant to make cakes, I was paying a teenager to watch my kids, I was working 2-3 times harder than ever and I making less. 

My kids couldn't understand why I wasn't available. The house was always a mess, I was cranky and sleep deprived and my hubby was taking the brunt of my lousy attitude.

It was obvious to everyone that I had overdone it, and despite my very big mouth, bitten off more than I could chew. So I decided to go back to what I was doing before: 2-3 orders a week and more time for the family. 

I'd like to say that my house is spotless, it is not. But the laundry is finished and put away. The kitchen is clean and the beds have been made.

More importantly, my family is happy.

I'm no longer cranky all the time and, despite being an insomniac, have actually gotten some rest.

The orders are still coming in just not as fast, and that's ok.

I am a little bummed about the timing of all of this. But at the same time, this is the second time I've slowed things down and the business is still coming in.

The good news is that I didn't fail! I quit my full-time marketing position to invest in my cake business and it was and is still succeeding it was just growing faster than I could keep up with right now.

I love to be the supermom who can do it all: full-time domestic engineer who oversees the family finances while raising twin boys and running a cake business.

I want it all!

But, sometimes I want to sleep too. 

Thanks Hubby

I wake to music playing softly in the background, a cup of steaming coffee is on my nightstand and my husband is reciting my spa schedule for the day...

That is my dream.

The reality is that we woke up before the kids, I waited while my hubby made the coffee (he hadn't set up the pot the night before) and we had a few moments of snuggling before the kids woke up and the day went into insanity mode.

Once the boys were awake and we'd finished our coffee we headed downstairs where the boys presented me with a mylar Mother's Day balloon, that they then proceeded to fight over. I received two cards, one from the boys and one from hubby.

Both were mushy and made me cry.

In addition to the balloon and the cards was a small wrapped box that held a beautiful necklace with a pendant in the shape of a heart filled with crystals and a smaller heart that was engraved with the word "mom."

Heaven!

As young girls we dream of many things.

Unicorns, white castles, beasts that turn into princes, a knight in shining armor, our wedding day, our dress and being a mommy.

I am no exception.

I dreamt of all of those things, and a few others that shall remain nameless, and just knew that I was going to fall in love with mister perfect and have a bunch of kids...pretty sure I can blame Disney and the Brady Bunch for such dreams...

I fell in love and got married...a couple of times.

Fortunately I finally did find Mr. Right and we have this wonderful little family of four - thank you Lord for boys and not girls.

Mr. Right actually found me...I wasn't looking. So I did finally get it right but as a friend of mine so aptly stated, "Even a blind squirrel finds a nut eventually."

It's wonderful most of the time.

Yeah we have those moments where you just want to lock your kid in a closet and go sit on the porch with a nice hot cup of coffee but for the most part things are great.

My hubby works insanely hard. His job is nuts and this time of year is the worst. He is in the pool industry. The commercial side of it. This is the time of year where everyone needs everything done to get their outdoor pools ready for the masses on Memorial Day weekend. I'm lucky if he's home by 8.

My day's are lightly less insane but only because I do much, much less driving than he does. After we get up in the morning I try to have my coffee while the kids have their morning bottles. Often they like to run around upstairs and play with stuff in our closet.

Last week I actually managed to get in the shower early and, as I was getting dressed, the Stuntman looked at me, patted his head and said, "hat." Thanks hubby!

I wonder how old they'll be before they stop calling bras, hats?

As the kids get older they are learning their body parts: ears, eyes, toes...If you ask them where boogers come from they will point to their noses. Thanks hubby!

I'm so proud.

I really am proud though. You can ask them for a book by the title or subject matter and they can bring it to you.

I might just be a puffed up mommy but I find that to be astounding considering that they just turned 18 months!

If they want to go out they will bring you not one but a matched pair of shoes, they know words like jacket, bucket and turtle. Their vocabulary is growing as fast as they are and we have to be ever vigilant to keep it "clean" around here.

As hard as we try, it's just so easy to get frustrated and let a "dammit" slip out.

I can completely understand why some kids often believe that their first name is actually dammit.

With hubby working so hard he is perpetually exhausted. With that comes his ability to fall asleep instantly.

I hate that he can fall asleep so quickly and am jealous that I can't.

No matter what I do, I do not fall asleep right away.

I can be exhausted to the point of tears streaming down my cheeks and I do not fall asleep right away.

In the evening I take the Stuntman upstairs and hubby stays on the sofa with the Engineer. I put the Stuntman to bed after he's finished his bottle and then let hubby know, via text message, that he can bring the Engineer up...

Then I go downstairs and wake up hubby to let him know that the Stuntman is in bed.

I ask hubby to set up the coffee pot and I take the Engineer up and put him to bed.

After I set up the coffee pot and wake up hubby we go to bed...I am now so wired that sleeping is not an option at all, but I get into bed anyway.

One night last week hubby was snoring so loudly that the windows were rattling and I get downstairs and find the Engineer wide awake and bouncing around on both him and the sofa.

Hubby was clueless.

I gathered the Engineer up, took him up to the rocker in the bedroom and after I got him back to sleep went back downstairs to set up the coffee pot and woke up the hubby.

He said something about trees...

Yeah, we have no idea either!

Counting Blessings...One-handed

Yes there is such a thing as being too patient!

The other night the Engineer tripped and face planted right into the door jamb. After I got him settled down hubby was playing with him when the Engineer fell again and hit the same spot which was again followed by screaming.

Hubby is so patient, too patient in fact. He held the Engineer, whose screams continued to escalate, and just sat there on the sofa with him waiting for the 15 month old to settle down...which did not happen.

If doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is really the definition of insanity, then hubby is truly nuts.

Since day one he has done virtually the same thing. While I believe that kids need to learn to soothe themselves, there are times when self-soothing is not an option and distraction is the better option.

I thought this was common sense...evidently it's rocket science.

When I tell him to move around, etc. he gets defensive like I'm picking on him. Noooo I'm here all day, I have to distract them fairly frequently and know what works because I'VE TRIED IT!!

Of course some days are better than others - which really goes without saying but, I've said it anyway.

Most days the boys are capable of playing by themselves. They will fight over toys, but usually find something else to play with once the toy has been removed. There are certain toys that we keep out of reach as they involved parental supervision and well...I don't always feel like supervising.

Since we began the liquid Zantac our nights have improved immensely. The kids sleep through the night almost all the time now...almost.

We've been battling colds lately. Large quantities of snot aside, it hasn't been bad during the day, but night time is another story all together.

At approximately 9 p.m. every evening, we settle the kids into their highchairs, dispense meds and brush their teeth. The Stuntman receives a dose of Zantac and liquid Rolaids and if needed the Engineer will receive a dose of ibuprofen. Most nights the Engineer gets jealous of the Stuntman's medicine and we have to give him a "taste" to settle him down.

Of course, he only wants this when he's not sick. When he is sick, giving him medicine is a terrible experience for all of us! It takes no less than two people to administer any drug. He fights, screams, cries and whips his head back and forth and no matter how you put it in his mouth, he spits it back out.

Honestly, I'd much rather give pills to a cat than liquid medicine to the Engineer. That being said, I do have more than 40 years experience with cats and only 15 months experience with the Engineer.

When the boys have colds they don't sleep well. Really, who does when they are sick? At least as adults we know what the problem is and how to deal with it. As babies they have no idea what is going on and can't be reasoned with. Crying makes their snot production go into overdrive and giving the Engineer a dose of anything in the middle of the night is not an option! 

Recently, the Engineer AKA The Urinator peed so much that he soaked his diaper, his pajamas and his crib and woke us, as well as the neighborhood, up with his screaming. We got him changed and because I didn't want to change the sheets in his crib at 2am put him in the big bed with us.

Unfortunately, the Stuntman doesn't sleep through the Engineer's screaming and he woke up as well. There was nothing wrong with him but he was now wide awake.

We only have a queen size bed, fitting the four of us in it is not really an option so I took the Stuntman down to the family room and snuggled on the sofa in desperation of recovering some much needed sleep.

Since the Stuntman's faulty dismount from the sofa, and subsequent stitches in the back of his head, we keep the coffee table pushed up against the front of the sofa so they can climb up and down without injury. I left the coffee table in place, grabbed a bottle of milk from the fridge and settled down on the sofa on my back with the Stuntman on my chest.

After a while, he wiggled himself between the back of the sofa and me leaving me on my side with my knees bent, which he didn't like. Eventually, he rolled over onto his stomach taking up the bulk of the sofa cushion and began kicking me to move my legs so that he could stretch out. I had no choice but to roll over onto the coffee table and try to sleep!

Needless to say it was a really bad night and when I finally did wake up my left arm was asleep and completely paralyzed.

Despite having the bed, hubby didn't really have a much better time. The Engineer does this thing with his legs when he is on his stomach where he "digs" with his feet which propels him forward. Hubby was awakened by whimpering to find the Engineer had traversed the head of the bed and propelled himself down in the chasm between the bed and the nightstand - head first!

Nights like this I try to count my blessings and think of the time with either boy as bonus snuggle time.

However, it's really hard to count blessings when the fingers of one hand are paralyzed from sleeping on the coffee table which may be very sturdy but not the least bit snugly. 

Sleepless No More...I Hope!

The past couple of months have been wracked with difficult nights. Not only has the stuntman not wanted to go to sleep but he's been waking up once or twice a night. We'd go a full week without incident, and then just as the pattern was getting established he'd start all over again.

To say it was frustrating would be an understatement. 

I'm a pretty high energy person and can usually get by on a couple of hours of sleep without a problem. I've been known to do this for days or even weeks on end but usually with a purpose like a trade show or something that would keep me so busy that I wouldn't notice the exhaustion. 

At the end of whatever the event was, I'd crash for a day and get the sleep I needed. If you've known me for any period of time, you'll know that this was my standard means of existence. 

This is no longer the case...

With a child that was only sleeping for 3-4 hours at a time - intermittently, I was unable to ever feel like I was rested. The worst part was that we had no idea when his bad nights would strike. 

The final straw came about a week ago when he had a particularly horrid night and was up at 11:00,       1:00 am, 3:30 am, 6:30 am and finally at 8. He would not lie down in his crib and spent most of the night on my chest in the recliner. By the time that night was over I felt like I'd been dragged through a knothole and didn't look much better either! 

Many of my friends and my mom, insisted that I call the doctor, which I did. 

The nurse called me back to discuss what was going on and said that he really should see a doctor, since he'd had a cold lately, they were concerned about his ears. Ok that makes sense but that wouldn't account for the previous months of turmoil. Anyway...

I threw myself together - even managed a shower - changed the kids into regular clothes and headed out. 

Our regular pediatrician wasn't in that day so he was seen by another doctor who after checking his ears, eyes, nose and throat declared him to be in perfect health. While this is a great and wonderful thing for which I am eternally grateful, this declaration will not garner sleep for any of us. 

She did say that if he is teething that I should use ibuprofen instead of Tylenol because it will help with the swelling that accompanies teething. She then went on to say that when he has his episodes, we could give him a teaspoon of Maalox and see if he settles down. If that works then they could prescribe Zantac for him. 

I called hubby on the way home and gave him the report and asked that he pick up the Maalox on his ride home from work. He couldn't find it but did arrive with a bottle of liquid Rolaids. We gave him both the liquid Rolaids and ibuprofen that night and every night since.

We have had six consecutive full nights of sleep! 

Our routine now involves putting the bottles of milk in the microwave to warm them and giving the stuntman his bedtime cocktail of ibuprofen and liquid Rolaids. Hubby heads to the sofa with the engineer and I take the stuntman up to the rocking recliner in the bedroom. 

We do this because the stuntman is too easily distracted by any form of stimulation. Doesn't matter if it's the television, the cat walking across the room or his brother breathing, anything will take his attention away from the task of falling asleep. 

For some reason when I try to put the engineer down, he wakes up. I seem to have better luck with the stuntman and hubby has better luck with the engineer. Once their bottles are finished or they are out, whichever comes first, we put them down for the night in their cribs. 

I can always tell when hubby is bringing the engineer up to bed by the sounds of the toys he collides with on his way to the stairs. One particularly distinctive sound is that of the Leap Frog Turtle who has these gears on his shell. Each gear has a different number of bugs on it. If you push on the gear it talks. 

The other night I hear, "Three bees buzzing. Bzzz, Bzzz, Bzzz" as he kicked the turtle. 

Oh good, hubby's on his way upstairs. 

Not realizing that the poor little thing was still in front of him he hit it again this time making it sing, "My friends are traveling on my back..."

Oh. My. Gawd!!! I can't laugh, I can't laugh, I can't laugh! I'm going to wake the stuntman! 

The kid is a champion power-napper! He can be asleep for five minutes and if woken up, will be awake for another three hours. Each night when we climb into the chair I boot up Lullaby World's Lullabies For Babies To Go To Sleep on You Tube. Not only is it visually interesting it is mind numbing and helps the stuntman achieve the perfect level of trance that lets him pass out in obtain a very deep sleep. 

Thank goodness too because the combination of noise from downstairs and my giggling would certainly wake him up. 

Hubby reads my blog so he knows that I pick on him about his clumsiness. He can't deny it and will even make comments about whether or not what he's done will end up on the world wide web. Some of what I post actually seems to impact him albeit not always in a good way.

Back in August, I wrote about his 18-inch disease. (See Shiny) Right after that post I caught him standing in front of the sink, coffee mug in hand trying to decide if he was going to put it in the sink or actually open the dishwasher.

I laughed.

His mug ended up in the sink.

His 18-inch disease improved for a little while but honestly not very long.

Last weekend, after he finished his coffee, headed over to the sink to put his coffee cup in it. I had cooked breakfast, unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher but there was still a bunch of stuff in the sink that needed to be hand-washed.

I heard this loud, aggravated sigh come from the direction of the sink and when I asked what was wrong he said that there was so much stuff in the sink that there was no room for his mug. I replied that he could put it in the dishwasher, which is where it belonged anyway.

"I can't," he replied with a wicked gleam in his eye. "I have that disease." 

You Call It Teething, I Call It Hell!

When I was pregnant women reveled in telling me their horror stories about pregnancy and birth. I was extremely sick when I was pregnant and while it was nice to hear that other women didn't enjoy the experience either I would have preferred to have talked about anything other than being pregnant like, I don't know...like...the migratory pattern of the swallow or anything else that would have taken my mind off of my misery. 

After the boys were born, I was given a reprieve from the "my pregnancy was worse than yours" stories but was then bombarded with annoying "just wait until" stories that primarily revolved around poop: color, texture and smell. And, while I appreciate a good laugh, the stories did little to offer any advice or assistance. 

We have received some really good advice such as using mini frozen pancakes as teethers. They numb their gums and give them a snack at the same time. 

Some of the bad advice has been to put the coffee table in the basement and basically bubble wrap the entire house, if not the children. My mother is strangely obsessed with tempered glass. Every time the boys press their faces to the windows, which they love to do, she says, "I hope that glass is tempered." I get the impression that even if it was bullet-proof glass she would say the same thing. 

We take necessary precautions and have removed thing that can kill them, inserted outlet covers,  bought a new (to us) entertainment center that closes so they won't be inclined to play with the cable box and installed gates at the top and bottom of the stairs. 

There will be no bubble wrapping of the house. 

It's amazing how many lessons we have learned in the first year of their lives. 

First and foremost on the list is that the biggest oxymoron in the history of mankind is term "childproof."

"Child-resistant" would be more accurate. And even then, it should be prefaced with the word hopefully. 

We try but seriously, we can't be with the kids 24/7 and don't want to be either. In fact, you can tell the kids whose parents hover around them. They are whiny, demanding and incapable of entertaining themselves. 

The boys are pretty good at entertaining themselves for a couple of hours each day. They do fight over toys and access to them but for the most part, once redirected, do a great job. 

There are days, and nights, that are endless hours of hell that can be attributed to one thing and one thing only...Teething! 

This began at four months when one of the boys teethed non-stop for an entire day. 

Since then we've had days and weeks of reprieve but lately both of the boys have been teething incessantly. Most of the time we can settle them down with a coating of Orajel (on their gums) and when needed baby Tylenol or baby Motrin. Most of the time...

The past week has been horrible! 

They have been teething worse than ever and all I can hope is that they will cut a whole mouthful and get this over with! 

The drool, runny noses and crying aside, the worst of it is the whining! 

I HATE WHINING!

I really do. I despised it before having children. I despise it in other children and I despise it in my own children. When they whine, I usually say something like, "Nobody wants to hear that." I thought I was making that statement up but according to my Aunts, my grandmother was known for saying this as well. Evidently, I'd heard it years ago and filed it away for future use. 

The boys' used to sleep through the night. Now they are awake multiple times. One has night terrors and is teething, the other is just teething. Either way, I'm pretty sure I got more sleep when they were two months old than I do now. 

If you've known me for any period of time, you know that I am a high-energy person who is capable of operating very well on very few hours of sleep. However, I don't really do well in the middle of the night when my REM sleep is interrupted by a screaming child...or two...in need of another coating of Orajel or some pain medication. 

Most of the time I am very patient with the kids but in the middle of the night, when woken from a dead sleep, I am neither patient nor thinking rationally. I try to get up and get to them as quickly as possible but there are times that I pretend to be sleeping hoping my hubby will get to them first. 

Why I do this, I don't know. It rarely ever works and even if he does get up, he can't get them to settle like I can and I end up getting up anyway. 

We have all of the over-the-counter teething meds, some of the newest and greatest teething toys but what works best? Frozen sweet potato fries and frozen pancakes if they are crying but if just in need of something to chew on they love their spoons. They have two types of spoons. One is all plastic and the other is metal with the rubber coated bowl. Those are actually their favorites which is cause for more lecturing from my well-intentioned family and friends. 

I understand their concern but when they are hurting and nothing else works, they get the metal spoons...end of discussion. 

I'm sure that something will come along soon enough that I will deem worse than this but the  teething experience is terrible and the doctor assures me that this can be a two year long process...Oh goody! 

In the big scheme of things two years is really a drop in a pond and crying, colic, poopie diapers, boo-boos, etc. are all things that can be fairly easily overcome. But, it is pretty evident to me that Dante was not a parent. Otherwise he would have created a level of hell filled with teething infants preventing individuals from sleeping by whining and screaming at all hours of the day and night as penance for evils committed during their lifetimes. 

Mornings, Midnights and Mayhem

I am not a morning person.

If I could sleep until 7:30 every morning I would be a happy girl. Most mornings however, at least one of my boys is awake at 6 am or 5:30, 5:00, 4:30, 7:00, 7:30...you get the point.

There doesn't seem to be any real consistent time that he sleeps until. And, before you go analyzing it, there isn't any particular reason either. This is the child that can go 5-6 hours on a 20 minute power nap. The fact that I ever even get to sleep until 6 is often a miracle.

My favorite mornings are the ones where both boys are awake and "talking" to each other across the room.

I love waking up to giggles.

I truly believe that there is no better way to wake up in the morning than to happy, giggling babies. This used to be the exception but lately it has been the rule. There is just no way to have a bad day when your kids wake you up like that.

I wish the nights were as wonderful. Unfortunately, one of my boys has been having night terrors.

Despite my repeated attempts to clarify the difference between nightmares and night terrors to my mother she insists that it has something to do with the way we play with the boys.

The boys love, love, LOVE to be tossed around. One of them in particular really gets a kick out of being swung by his ankles, upside down and dropped on his back onto the bed or sofa. He gets the biggest smile and laughs out loud.

Truly a LOL - not the I'm smiling to myself LOL that we associate with Facebook.

The higher the better. If we can toss him onto the bed and make him bounce he gets even happier.

He is our wild child.

The other one likes to bounce but prefers to be on the bed on his back and have one of us bounce the bed. He thinks it's hysterical. He is also the one that is capable of entertaining himself for long periods of time with no other human interaction. He will sit and turn pages of books as if he is reading or study a pair of plastic toy pliers like he is looking for a way to improve them. He will be the head of engineering.

The daredevil is happiest on a lap. He loves people and doesn't care who they are. He will go to anyone and be happy as a clam in their arms. He is very stubborn, throws temper tantrums when told "No", smiles at everyone in the stores and already likes to be the center of attention. He will be the head of marketing.

Night terrors, as you may know, have no similarity to nightmares other than sharing the word "night."  It is a sleep disruption, not related to dreaming. When we pass from one sleep stage to another it is usually a seamless transition that we don't notice because, well...we're asleep.

Kids with night terrors are disturbed by the transition.

You know when you're falling asleep and suddenly get the sensation that you're falling from a cliff? That's the same thing that happens to cause the night terror. They never wake up they just thrash and cry and sometimes scream. It can last anywhere from a couple of minutes to half and hour and there is really nothing anyone can do about it other than keep the child from hurting themselves when thrashing around.

In doing research I discovered that children don't often experience these until about 18 months. Mine are 11 months. We are ahead of the curve, so to speak.

Lucky us.

The good news is that he's been having these about an hour and a half after he's been asleep - and I am still awake. Dealing with an incoherent, unresponsive child is difficult enough. Doing so from a sound sleep is harder. I usually pick him up and sit in the rocker until he settles down and goes back to sleep. I wait a few extra minutes to make sure that he's really under and then put him back in his crib. Fortunately, once the episode is over he's usually down for the night.

If all goes well I wake to giggling.

We usually start the day upstairs in the master bedroom. I bunch up the comforter from our bed and have the boys lie down on it to have their morning bottles while I hang out in the rocking recliner sipping my coffee. The boys will play with each other for about 30-45 minutes while I read my email and then we venture downstairs for morning snack and more playtime.

Most days are pretty good. But... I'm sure you've heard of Controlled Chaos? Well, I live in Managed Mayhem.

They have learned to divide and conquer. If I catch them doing something that requires the word "no" and I have to head over to them they will crawl in opposite directions.

Smart little buggers!

I usually grab whoever is the closest and, if need be, put them in the playpen or at the very least, move them to the playroom. The head of engineering will usually busy himself with whatever I put in front of him. The head of marketing will decide that he needs a new plan and will head in another direction.

In addition to crawling the boys have begun to climb. I do know that there is little we can do to prevent this from happening. Oh sure, we've installed the baby gates at the top and bottom of the stairs. The basement door is now closed all of the time and we have locks on the cabinets with dangerous or breakable stuff in them.

However, my kitchen island is actually a commercial prep table with a shelf on the bottom of it that has been cleaned off of all baking items. Recently the boys have begun to climb on it. I use it as an easy place to store toys when I'm cleaning. Now, I am constantly trying to keep them from climbing on that shelf and the lower shelf of our end table.

We also have a stone fireplace and a rather large hearth.

The other day I was working at the kitchen table and looked up to find both boys on the hearth holding onto stone the fireplace as if they were about to begin a rock-climbing exercise.

A week ago, the boys were in the playroom which is located in the front of the house next to the stairs. They like to rattle the gate at the bottom of the stairs and I thought to myself that I hadn't heard the gate so I went to make sure that it was closed.

It wasn't.

I turned the corner and the head of marketing, who was 2/3 of the way up the stairs, turned and reached for me. He cartwheeled and as his feet came up over his head I caught his ankles. He was not injured and surprisingly I did not suffer a heart attack. I keep the gate closed almost all of the time now.

Between snacks, playtime, meals, naps, picking up toys and laundry my days fly by. Things I thought I would be able to finish in a day - take two, sometimes three, days to complete and of course I frequently forget what I was doing before I was interrupted by the heads of engineering and marketing to settle a dispute...or change a diaper.

The house frequently looks like FAO Schwartz puked in it. I pick up the toys two to three times a day. Not because I am some sort of anal-retentive neat freak but because I like to keep my ankles in whatever working order they have left.

We have the bottom shelf of the island in the kitchen, a cabinet in our entertainment center and the bottom shelf of the diaper changing table for toy storage. And if I am in a rush I just grab everything and toss it into the playpen. Thinking about this now, I'm surprised that I don't do that more often.

Some days I feel like all I do is follow the kids around the house saying, "No" or "Aah, aah, aah?" And, you know all those sayings that we swore we would never, ever say to our kids when we were younger? Yup, I'm there and they're only 11 months old.

I find myself actually saying things like, "Nobody wants to hear that noise, get your finger out of your brother's ear, and today was the first time I actually uttered the words: stop fighting."

I hate to admit it...But I sounded just like my mother.