 |
| The Brady Bunch. The ultimate "Everything is fixed in 30 minutes" sitcom. |
I blame Disney and TV sitcoms!
Seriously, I have spent my life thinking that, "When I have kids..." Fill in the blank.
Well my idiotic imagination and reality don't jive well; in fact they often clash!
My children were not going to be the little bastards that ran willy-nilly all over the grocery story, or scream at the top of their lungs. My boys would be properly dressed when we left the house.
My children would not throw temper tantrums.
Ha!
I was recently slapped so hard in the face by reality that I was left crying and wondering what I had done wrong.
The short answer is nothing. I really had done nothing wrong. And the boys are really wonderful.
Most of the time.
We endured months of David controlling nearly every situation with his incessant tantrums to the point that we'd changed plans to go out just to spare another human being from the experience.
Initially it began because David didn't want to change out of his pajamas...ever.
I had this rule: Pajamas are ok at home but if we go out they had to be changed into real clothes.
The morning I arrived at my MoPS (Mothers of PreSchoolers) group with a bottle of lavender oil in my pocket, I knew things were out of control. After discussing the situation with the moms I decided to let the pajama issue go. (See My How Life Has Changed.)
I thought we were out of the woods.
I had another thought coming.
Next was the dirty clothes. David only wanted to wear dirty clothes. If I changed him he'd strip down and then throw his tantrum.
One day in particular I'd had enough and called my husband for moral support.
I left David flailing naked on the playroom floor and headed up to the bedroom, closed and locked the door and plunked myself in the recliner to share my misery and hear that everything was going to be ok.
As soon as my butt hit the leather the bedroom door burst open with Hell Boy Tantrum Child screaming that he wanted his dirty clothes. I calmly walked across the master bedroom and locked myself in the bathroom. (Double checked the latch on the door!) sat on the edge of the tub and cried into the phone, "I can't take this anymore."
Suddenly, there was this insanely loud banging noise coming from the bathroom door. Hubby asked what the noise was so I described the scene to him: David was now lying on his back on the floor on the other side of the bathroom door screaming at the top of his lungs while simultaneously kicking the bathroom door.
"Naked."
"What?" I asked
"He's lying on the floor kicking the bathroom door completely naked."
The absurdity of it all hit me and I began to laugh!
There are so many reasons that I love my husband but his sense of humor is one of the big ones.
Over the years he has been able to make me laugh more than anyone else.
Oh sure, we have our stress moments, what couple doesn't? But his ability to calm me and find humor in a situation is a gift.
Some of my parenting thoughts are still true to this day. My children do not run like crazy through stores. I will not tolerate it..that's what playgrounds are for. The day David decided to start screaming while in the shopping cart, as we were walking into the store I steered past the entrance and sat on the sidewalk until he was ready to settle down and I could go shopping without inconveniencing everyone in the store.
They've been to the store in their pajamas and people loved them. I was not criticized.
I'm learning to let experiences happen without expectations. Having expectations about behavior is one thing but why not let things play out they way they were meant to? I don't need to have everything scripted or planned.
A dear friend always said, "If you want to make God laugh, make plans."
Ha!
I'm learning to go with the flow.
The tantrums lasted nearly three months. For a while it was daily sometimes twice a day. At it's worst I felt so lost but talking to other moms about it was super helpful. Many even offered suggestions that truly made a difference.
They are over now.
We survived.
Knowing that my hubby always had my back and was willing to jump in and deal with David when I was at the end of my rope was my saving grace.
He is my rock.
I am blessed.
No comments:
Post a Comment