My How Life Has Changed

Being at the beck and call of two miniature people can be daunting sometimes. Whether I'm changing a diaper or refilling a sippy cup, when I am home with the boys I rarely get much in the way of peace.

When I do, I enjoy my time by doing the laundry or mopping the floor.

Yeah, I'm sexy like that.

It's been more than a year since I've enjoyed a pedicure and I read at night after the kids have gone to bed. Curling up with a good book on a cold rainy day doesn't happen unless there are two boys vying for space on my lap to read Dr. Seuss.

I am not complaining...Just thinking of what life was like before kids.

I used to have the BEST Halloween parties. Lots of food and spirits and everyone knew that costumes were mandatory!

I even went so far as to hide a small stuff rat behind the pedestal in my powder room that would scare the daylights out of the girls when they were peeing.

The rat has recently been resurrected and is now showing up around the house in various locations being dragged from one to the next by the tail as one of the boys shouts, "I have Templeton!"

They love the movie Charlotte's Web and of course they love The Rat.

Tantrums were not a thing I had to deal with before kids...at all.

That has changed.

We recently endured the battle of the PJs.

David, for whatever reason is justifiable to a two-year-old, decided that he only wants to wear pajamas and refused to put clothes on to go outside.

When I say refused, I mean kicking, screaming, flailing refused.

Trying to get out of the house was a nightmare.

I was sharing this to my moms group when one of the moms (who also has twin boys) said, "One of my kids spent three years in nothing but pajamas, cowboy boots and a cape." Another mom's hand flew to her mouth as she exclaimed, "OMG I saw you in Home Depot!" Evidently her daughter thought it was the coolest outfit she'd ever seen!

I have given up on the PJ argument.

If he goes to the store in pajamas I don't care. We are all happier and other moms come to me and tell me that their son or daughter went through the same phase.

Thank you to the moms who have "been there, done that" and share their experience in a way that gives me hope.

Some of the things I've learned from other moms and from the boys are:

• Relax
• I wasn't one to take myself seriously before and do so even less now. 
• What's important to me, is seldom important to others.
• Talk to other parents.  
• There is no such thing as a spill-proof sippy cup. 
• Almost all boo-boos can be fixed with a kiss. 
• Someday my boys will push me away. 

Each of the boys goes through a needy time where only mommy will do. As the first husband of my best friend once said, "There are two people in the world: Mommy and everyone who isn't mommy."

Right now I can't imagine that there will come a time that the boys won't want to be with me all the time but I know that it will.

When one of the boys is throwing a tantrum I try to remind myself that this will not last forever. This too shall pass and my adorable, happy, sweet boy will once again emerge.

This applies to the good stuff too.

Not in a negative way but just a reminder that I need to appreciate each moment for what it is because all moments will pass.

Nothing lasts forever and I need to be in the present as much as possible.

Don't Put That in Your Mouth!

I have mentioned in previous posts that hubby and I have our usual chores around the house. I do the laundry and cleaning and he does the guy stuff like taking out the trash. One morning a few weeks ago, after harvesting the pumpkins and squash, before leaving for work, he decided to empty the diaper pail in the playroom.

To be honest, it was really stinky!

I love that he takes out the trash and does the "hubby jobs" around the house. I hate that he has this really annoying habit of forgetting to put a new bag in the can.  As was the case this particular morning.

I didn't notice this until I rushed one of my boys to the diaper changing table with a massive blowout in his footie pajamas.

Not good!

Hmmm...well, I thought, I'll just put the diaper at the end of the changing table and dispose of it when I was finished. In theory this should have worked out really well.

There was a fatal flaw in my thinking.

At 11 months he is pretty long and his feet come to the end of the diaper changing pad. I couldn't leave him on the table to go get a new bag, I couldn't set him on the floor covered in poop and couldn't put the diaper on the floor because my other son was now standing between my legs.

I removed said diaper and placed it at the foot of the changing pad, hoping for the best, and tackled things with the wipes. Lots and lots of wipes. I piled them up on the offending diaper and grabbed a new diaper to put on him.

That's when the trouble started.

The boys' desire to squirm or rollover is directly proportional to the amount of crap on their butts. The bigger the poop, the more they want to squirm.

When I prevented him from rolling over he got really mad and slammed his feet down...right into the poop filled diaper.

I screamed. Yeah really actually screamed. It sort of...splashed!

My scream startled him and he began to cry, then in a show of some sort of twin solidarity, the other one started to cry too.

Greaaaaat!

Not only do I have a colossal friggin mess but now I have two screaming children to deal with, one of whom was also naked and covered with poop!

When all was said and done, the baby had a new diaper, tears had been dried, the pad on the changing table had been changed and, most importantly, there was a new bag in the diaper pail. Of course I handled it like a pro but then again I am here alone, it's not like anyone else was going to do it. It's just another poopie experience to add to the list.

But...what I am proud of is the fact that I didn't call my hubby and rip him a new one. I didn't even send him an obnoxious text message. Mostly because one of the boys fell down again and needed his boo-boo kissed and by the time I finished dealing with that it was snack time. Ranting at him about something like a trash bag just seemed so menial at that point.

Falling down is the norm around here. They are constantly hitting their heads...usually on the floor. They have learned to avoid the coffee table and the bottom of the kitchen hutch but they trip...when crawling no less, and face-plant. Either or both have been known to have pretty good bruises on their foreheads at least once a week.

I've gotten used to the sounds of their playing...and falling. Depending on the sound of the thump, I've learned to respond appropriately. Sounds in general tell me what's going on but more importantly, the sound of silence is even more telling.

Last week, during our morning ritual, I was enjoying a cup of coffee in the rocker in the bedroom while the kids played in the hallway. They like to crawl around in the hallway, the bathroom,  their room and our closet.

It suddenly dawned on me that it was completely silent.

Not good!

I left my coffee and headed down the hall to find that one of the boys had unraveled most of a roll of toilet paper, which was now piled up in the middle of the floor, and the other was happily chewing away on a wad of it that was so big it would make a professional baseball player jealous.

About the time I walked into the bathroom the one that had been doing the unrolling, discovered this little handle thingy on the toilet tank.

Flush!!!

Unfortunately, he liked the sound. Fortunately, it takes about 35 seconds to refill the tank on the toilet. Which is approximately the amount of time necessary to gather up the toilet paper, remove the disgusting pulp from the one's mouth and move both boys out of the room and close the door.

The bathroom door is now closed all the time and, just in case one of us should happen to leave the door open, the toilet paper is now located on the edge of the sink.

I draw the line at removing the flush handle.

As I've mentioned, I like to start my day slowly with a cup of coffee and the boys like to play upstairs. We now keep all doors upstairs closed with the exception of the master bedroom and the master closet.

They love to play in the closet.

Chewing on shoelaces is a favorite pastime as is, evidently pulling dirty clothes out of the laundry basket that serves as our hamper.

This was discovered one morning as I sat happily rocking away, sipping my coffee and reading the news. I noticed that the boys were a little too quite. As I was getting up to head into the closet to see what they were doing, one of them came crawling out of the closet with a pair of my panties in his mouth like a lion dragging home a kill!

Eeeeeeeeeew!!!

Nobody saw it and if I didn't write about it, no one would even know...but I was mortified! They carry stuff in their mouths all the time...just not my underwear. I don't even think it would have been ok if he had had a clean pair in his mouth. Somethings you just don't put in your mouth...period!

This no doubt will not be the last time that I am completely grossed out by something that one of my boys' puts in his mouth. I am sure the words, "Don't put that in your mouth!" will be said at least a million times but hey, that battle's got to be better than dealing with a flailing, poop-covered baby...Right?!