Boob Fat & Incompetence

When I had the mastectomy this summer there was boob fat left behind and my scars had become wrinkly. 

The boob fat was the worst of it. 

I don't mind being flat. Really, I truly don't care, but I was very self-conscious of the way my chest looked with those odd horizontal bumps. 

So, last week I had surgery scheduled to remove the last of the boob fat and smooth out the scars. 

The incisions on my chest don't hurt at all. I lost those nerves when they cut off the boobs but the plastic surgeon had to make incisions below my armpits to tighten the area and those do hurt!

It's nothing some Acetaminophen can't handle, but it is annoying. 

Prepping for the surgery was well, interesting. It was the usual nothing to eat aftermidnight but, I had to have a pre-surgery covid test. 

I booked an appointment online with CVS. 

Monday afternoon I arrived at the CVS drive thru window where they had a sign that said, "If you are here for a Covid test, please wear a mask." 

Oh good, so if I was there for, oh I don't know...a script for smallpox I didn't need a mask. Whew! 

Anyway...

I didn't have a mask with me because I never planned to leave the car. Per the instructions on my appointment confirmation I rolled up to the window with my ID and Health Insurance Card out. The girl at the window, who was still wearing the same dirty gloves that she'd been touching money with asked if I was there for a test. I replied yes, she freaked out screamed, "DO YOU HAVE A MASK?!" I explained that I did not and that I was only there because I was having surgery. She paused half a beat and asked if she could give me a mask. All while using her dirty gloves to reposition her own mask. 

I replied yes and she headed across the pharmacy to fine one. By the time she returned she'd touched her mask, with the same gross gloves, no less than six times. Using the same disgusting gloves she handed me a mask, which I put on but left at my chin (she never noticed) while I listened to her directions on how to stuff a q-tip up my nose. 

I completed the test, packed it in the bag she gave me and put it in the box that everyone else had touched. 

Yeah, that part made my skin crawl. You can bet I was using the hand sanitizer before rolling away. 

The next day I received a text from CVS saying they couldn't complete my test and gave me an 800# to call. 

I called and the woman who answered the call told me the same thing the text said followed by, you'll have to make a new appointment. 

When I asked why the test couldn't be done she replied, "I don't know."

Wait, what? 

"I got a text that said the test couldn't be completed and to call this number. If you can't tell me why and I need to go online to make another appointment, what the hell was the point of the text? Why did it say to call you? What EXACTLY was the point of this phone call?!" 

She took so long to reply that I thought she'd hung up. 

She checked my chart and there were no notes. 

I thanked her form wasting my time and hung up.

Later that night I got a voicemail from CVS stating that there had been a labeling issue. Ok, someone in the lab screwed up. I make mistakes too. I get it. At least now I had a reason. 

The following day I got a call from the Hospital saying that I needed to come in for a pre-surgery Covid test. (They'd previously told me that I had to take care of it myself, hence the CVS appointment.) So, I booked the appointment for the following morning. 

Wednesday morning I hopped in the 22 year old chevy that I'm still driving because the four year old Ford still is not running and drove to the hospital for yet another q-tip up the nose. 

On the way home CVS called again to tell me that there was not enough sample on the swab to test for covid and that I needed to make a new appointment. 

Oh for heaven's sake?! 

Does anyone know what they are doing? 

I swear if I was giving out medals for incompetence, between a pharmacy technician who has zero knowledge of cross-contamination and people who evidently don't know the difference between a label and a q-tip, CVS would win! 

By the way, I was negative and surgery went really well. 

A Carpenter's Dream

Warning, There are post surgical pictures in this post. 

Surgery went great. 

Even my pre-op anxiety wasn’t as horrible is it normally can be. Most likely because I talked about it...to everyone! 

The morning was a little insane. We left the house late, hit traffic and arrived at the hospital late. So late, in fact, that registration called to make sure I was on the way 🤦‍♀️ 

After they took me into the pre-op room, I got changed, threw out my bra and they took my vitals. The doctor came in to see me, review what was going to be done and answer questions. Then I waited for about an hour to go to nuclear medicine to get injections in the cancer boob so they knew where the sentinel nodes were. 

The trip from pre-op to nuke med was interesting. Nuke med is in the old building of the hospital and pre-op is in the new wing. I was literally wheeled down main hallways. Never one to miss an opportunity, I was waving at people like I was in a parade. 

I’d be lying if I said the injections didn’t hurt like hell. My doctor said they shouldn’t be bad, other cancer patients said to prepare for the pain. Glad I was prepared! 

By now I was winding up and could feel it so when the “Happy Juice Guy” aka anesthesiologist came in I asked for something. They gave me a little Ativan to help me relax. It worked. 

Next thing I knew I was I’m my room waking up. I got to see Glenn before he went home to be with the boys. 

In addition to the nuke med that lit up my nodes, my breasts were injected with a blue dye so they knew where all the tissue was that needed to be removed. We were told that the dye would make my pee blue and they were not kidding!! 

I am the consumate boy mom who appreciates a good "Wooooow!" moment. After I peed the first time that night I had the nurse give me my phone so I could take a picture of it. Seriously, it was way darker than I anticipated. I sent the picture to Glenn and the boys and we all had a great laugh. 

The rest of the night was uneventful, I got some good sleep and my doctor even had to wake me up the next morning when she came in to check me out. 

A hematoma had developed on the right side so she had to press on the skin to move the fluid to the drain tube. Fun fact: when they cut off the boobs they take the nerves so, although she had to push on my chest, I could only feel pressure not pain! 

I was discharged that afternoon and headed home to relax. 

On the way out I was being wheeled past the nurses station and one of them said, "You need to wave on he way out, you waved on the way in." 

I can totally see myself doing that...So I waved good-bye. 

Since I opted to not have reconstruction I do not have expanders in my chest. Pain is minimal and controlled with just Acetaminophen (Tylenol). 

The drains...Ugh! 

I know these things are necessary but man are they a pain in the ass! 

The tubes come out just below where the bottom of my breast was and the tube wraps up into the skin area in a big circle. The part of the drain that is under the skin is perforated to allow the fluids to drain into the bulb (referred to a grenade at the nurses station :) and the tube is so much longer than I thought it would be! 

There is a plug at the top of the bulb that I open to empty out the fluid into a measuring cup so I can record the amounts and then the bulb gets squeezed before the plug is put back in. Doing this creates a suction that draws the fluid out of my body. 

As heal I form clots that are a total pain to remove from the lines. Sometimes they move themselves sometimes they don't. 

The compression bra they gave me was too tight. The band around the bottom had to be cut so that it wouldn't dig into my skin and some jackass decided that since it's a bra it had to have lace around the edges.

Seriously...Lace? WTF?!  On a good day lace can cause chaffing. Why the hell would someone put it on a post-surgical garment?! No doubt someone that has never had this particular surgery and didn't have to be in the thing 24/7. 

The other added benefit of the lace is that it gets stuck in the velcro. Because, you know, when you have tubes hanging out of your body AND limited arm motion you want to have to detangle the lace from the velcro at the top of the already uncomfortable bra! 

Anyway...

This is how the drain looks under my skin on the left side of my chest. 

There is some bruising (remember no nerves, no pain), which is to be expected but the incisions are amazing! I am so happy with the way everything looks. As the fluid decreases things are flattening out. 

One friend even told me I'm his "favorite 2x4"...

Flat as a board! 

OMGness! I am so glad I wasn't drinking when I got that text or I would have spewed magic bean water out of my nose. 

Mom told my that makes me a Carpenter's Dream! LOL

I wish I could say that the worst is over but unfortunately that is not the truth. Sadly, having my boobs cut off was the easy part. 

Chemo looms on the horizon. 

I will most likely feel sick and lose my hair. They will give me anti-nausea meds to help with the tummy issues but, I gotta tell you, the thought of a summer without the need to shave is a bit exciting. 'Cause you know that you don't just lose the hair on the head...

Yeah...NO BIKINI RAZOR RASH!!! 

Talk about a silver lining!

If I look hard enough there is always something good. 

What's been the best part of this so far? 

Love.

So many people have sent encouraging messages, prayers, gifts, flowers and have jumped in to help us out. We don't have to worry about food for weeks, the kids transportation is arranged and nurse friends have come over to check out my incisions and drain tube areas to make sure that everything is ok and there are no infections. 

As a result of all the prayers, love and support we've received I've been able to heal at a very rapid rate. 

We are blessed.