Stellar Parenting Skills

"I'm so pissed off I could spit nails!" was what came out of my mouth when my friend answered her phone. I was on the way home from the cake supply store when I was passed, like I was standing still, by a woman in a green Toyota Camry and a toddler leaping around in the backseat of her car!

REALLY??? In this day and age? Who the hell doesn't buckle their kid in?

"You don't have to have an I.Q. to have children," was my friends response.

Unfortunately, she is right. Just walk into any Walmart and you will see a plethora of individuals who were standing behind the door the day brains were handed out!

Anyway, prior to calling my bestie, I had called 911 to report the Camry owner's threat to her children. There were in fact two children in the backseat. She'll probably have some lame-ass excuse for not having the kid buckled in like, "he just screams when he's in his seat." Well quite frankly, a screaming baby is much better than a dead one in my book but what the hell do I know?

If her excuse is that she can't afford one then maybe she could quit smoking. Yes, she was smoking, with the kids in the car. Just a glowing example of stellar parenting skills here. A car seat at Walmart, where I'm sure she already spends a significant amount of time, is $78. Cigarettes in the great state of Delaware where her car is licensed, are $6 per pack. That's only 13 days off the coffin nails to protect her kid. Besides she shouldn't be smoking around them anyway!

The 911 operator said she would contact the state police and that I should stop following her, which I did. I have my own wonderful kids to worry about. Besides I only followed her to get her license plate number.

Speaking of Walmart, I was kidless the other day and stopped in quickly to grab a couple of staples that we had run out of. When I only have two or three items I usually go through the self checkout aisles. There is always someone at one of those things with a cart chock-full of crap and has no idea what they are doing as was the case that day. To make it even worse, she had one of the most OBNOXIOUS children with her that I have had the displeasure to be around in quite some time. This in itself is a bit of an accomplishment as I tend to go to Walmart pretty regularly.

The mother was trying to run items through the scanner and the little girl wanted to be in charge of which items were put through. Doesn't sound too bad right? Yeah well you couldn't be more wrong! The child screamed at the top of her lungs each time the "wrong" item was put through. The mother did nothing!!! Not a "shhhh," "stop," or "No" was uttered from her lips. She just proceeded on as if nothing was wrong. Not so much for the rest of us. The employees, the other customers and I stood gape-mouthed staring at this spectacle.

"Not my children," was the thought that played through my mind with each obnoxious scream.

Granted the twins are only 10 months old but I would never, and I do mean never, tolerate that type of behavior. I don't even tolerate it now and yes 10 month old boys have tempers and throw temper tantrums. When they do they are removed from whatever they are doing and put in the playpen, crib or have their highchair turned around to face the wall. I have no intention of waiting until they are older to begin disciplining them.

They are learning the word No and are praised when they respond properly. One trip out in public tells me that my hubby and I are the minority when it comes to disciplining our kids.

I watched a young teenager tell her mother to "shut up!" in a store the other day. I can't even imagine what life would have been like upon returning home had I chosen to speak to my mother like that, and in public no less!

Yup we were spanked. There is this idiotic philosophy that tells us that spanking kids breeds violence. Um...I'm pretty sure "the experts" have gotten that one wrong. If that were the case we would be a gentler society, I don't know about you, but that is definitely not my impression of things these days.

Don't get me wrong here, I DO NOT condone child abuse, but I do believer that a smack on the ass is an effective way to get their attention and let them know that they have crossed the line. I love my boys and would do anything for them and that includes helping them to become productive, respected members of society.

I will not raise leeches!

My boys will know how to cook, clean, do laundry and fend for themselves. They will do chores. They will have a good work ethic and be respectful to others.

We are their parents and if we do right by them, they will love and respect us for the lessons they have learned and for the men that they will become.

We are raising someone's future husbands.

Calm, Cool and Collected...Sometimes

I have never considered myself to be the overprotective type. Oh, I can be a momma bear when it comes to someone hurting someone I love, but I know that our kids will get boo-boos. And not all situations require 911. 

I truly believe in the concept of "boys will be boys” and fully expect to end up in the emergency room some day.

I have seen children freak out and cry when they plop down on their butts (not a cry-worthy experience as far as I am concerned) simply because their parent's overreaction. 

Not only do I not do the, "Oh my gawd, are you ok?!" over-the-top reaction; I tend to go the other way.

I laugh. 

I fear that I am warping my children.

I'm not a monster. If one if them seriously bangs their head or really falls, I give them the proper boo-boo attention that includes kissing and rocking but if we are talking about a small bonk or slight crash, when they look to me to see how they should react, I simply laugh. 

This might be having an adverse effect.

In the evenings my hubby and I each take a kid and play on the sofa. They crawl around and bounce on the pillows. Well, one night we were doing our regular bouncing routine and one of the boys face-planted into the pillows. The other one laughed...hard. 

Who knows where this will lead down the road?

Knowing that the boys will get boo-boos and having them do so are two entirely different creatures. 

Recently, while washing bottles one afternoon, I heard a weird noise in the playroom (formerly the formal living room AKA the Tea Room). I dried my hands and rounded the corner to discover that one of my boys was painting on the wall with something. Upon further inspection I discovered that it was blood! 

Holy Hell!!! 

I scooped him up and ran to the sink to wash his hand off and see where it was coming from. It seems that he had managed to stick his tiny little fingers into the air return vent for the A/C and slice the tops of his fingers.

Once washed off, I called my neighbor, a retired EMT, to come check him out. I tried desperately to be calm and explain what had happened and ended with, “CAN YOU COME CHECK HIM OUT!”

I was far from calm and now I was crying.

My son on the other hand was not crying and was simply concerned with trying to eat the paper towel that I had wrapped around his fingers.

My neighbor arrived within seconds and declared that my son was fine. The bleeding had stopped completely. The cuts were the equivalent of paper cuts. He even advised me not to put Band-Aids on his little fingers, as he would just try to chew them off and then choke on them.

Hmmm good thinking.

So much for the calm, cool, collected mom that is not overprotective and knows that her kids will get boo-boos huh?