Not A Dream

If I didn't have the scars to prove that I had breast cancer, I'd think the last year of my life was just a bad dream.  

I know that I had cancer. I know that I had a double mastectomy. I know that I endured chemo and a year of Herceptin infusions.

But now that it's over, it feels like it was just a long, strange, bad dream.  

For more than a year cancer consumed my life. 

And now it doesn't...at all. 

From the day I found the lump to the day I got my port out, there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about it or have to plan for my next appointment/treatment/surgery...whatever. 

It was all-consuming. 

I went from "knowing" the term breast cancer to having a working knowledge of the types of cancers, grades and stages. 

The learning curve was steep but necessary. 

I didn't just need to know that I had cancer, I needed to understand the treatment and the reasoning behind the procedures. I trusted my doctors but needed to verify what they were doing as well. 

The time between diagnosis and surgery felt like an eternity. 

In actuality it was approximately six weeks. 

Time felt like it was dragging. The nagging fear that the cancer would rear up and consume my entire body while I bounced from appointment to appointment was real and terrifying. 

In the blink of an eye life turned into a nightmare. 

Think about it, I had showered, dried off and was applying moisturizer when I found a lump. I immediately called the doctor and began a whirlwind of appointments. 

After the diagnosis life became a blur of tests, scans and consultations. 

Once they confirmed that it was cancer I was ready to have them cut my boobs off the next day. Hearing that there is something growing in your body that wants to kill you is terrifying. 

Not only did I want the cancer out of my body but I have a family, a life that was going on around me and a business to run. I needed to get treatment overwith so I could move on. 

But, cancer is really inconvenient. 

My focus went from family and business to diagnosis, testing and treatment and recovery. 

For 12 consecutive weeks, I underwent chemo and 48 hours later (once the steroids wore off) I would spend a couple of days in bed. After that I would be good for a few days and then we'd repeat the process. 

Lather, rinse, repeat. 

There is a lot that went on around me as I endured treatment after treatment. Most of which I don't remember because the chemo disrupted my brain. But, I do know that so many people jumped in to lend a hand. 

I will be grateful to those people forever. 

Cancer treatment is hard. It's exhausting and sickeness inducing but, if caught early enough, can also be life-saving. 

Early intervention is key. 

If you are reading this thinking, "I really need to schedule that mammogram." Stop what you are doing and make the appointment. 

There is no excuse that will justify jeopardizing your life.