It's Here

Holy moly has it really been two years since I've written a post! 

Life seems to have taken on a frantic pace lately. 

The kids are now in first grade, my business is insane, hubby travels a crazy amount of time and life seems to be passing in a blur. It's not just days that fly by but months and years. 

And now it's here. 
The day I dread all year long. 

Nine years ago today my father took his final breath and his soul departed this earth. It happened at 5:12 am with me by his side.

Every year as we approach the date I get more and more depressed. No amount of anti-depressants, working out or light therapy can help me. I just have to get through it.

I stay busy, the Quaker in dad would be proud, but I am still sad.

And, I always miss him.

People love to throw out platitudes like, "He's always with you."

Yup.

So is his loss and the memory of what is referred to as the "death rattle" every time he took a breath in his last few hours.

It's a sound that I will never forget. 

I do try to concentrate on the good. I love to talk about him, tell stories about him all the time and now I find myself sounding just like him. 

"Money doesn't grow on trees. It costs money to keep the lights on!" 

Pretty sure it's the phrase I heard the most growing up and now I sound like him. 

As our boys get older, my dad makes more and more sense.

You were right dad. 

Especially about the light switches.