But Wait There's More!

As if breast cancer and a new HVAC system weren't enough, our car died. 

Our 2017 Ford Escape died. 

Yes, you read that correctly. 

Making matters even worse, our extended warranty was good for 6 years or 75,000 miles and we have 84,491 miles on it. So while we were below on time we were over on miles. 

I called Ford and begged, groveled and cried. 

It worked. 

We are waiting for the final details but it looks like Ford will pay for the parts and we will have to pay for the labor. 

So if anyone has a spare $3K they're willing to part with...

From what the Service Manager at the dealership told me, this is more than he's seen Ford pay for anything in quite some time. 

For that I am grateful but again, the vehicle only has 84,491 miles. It shouldn't need an engine.

We have 17 payments left and will have to drive this thing into the ground to get our money out of it. 

We just can't catch a break! 

After my diagnosis of breast cancer I made the decision to be very open about the cancer, surgery, treatment, etc. specifically because I wanted to help educate people. My hope was that sharing my experience would encourage others to have their mammograms and maybe I could help save a life. 

Never, in a million years, did I imagine the life I would be saving was my little sister! 

Yup, you read that correctly too! 

After having cancer hit so close to home (and being harranged by our mom), my sister finally made it in for a mammogram. 

The call came in about two days later that she needed to go in for a follow up. 

When she called I wasn't worried. Both my mom and and I had to go back for additional mammograms that each turned out to be nothing. 

It wasn't nothing. 

There is a tumor. 

She has since had a biopsy and all we know at this point is that she has cancer and that the tumor is Invasive Ductal Carcinoma...sound familiar? 

Yes, that's what mine was too. 

Hopefully when she sees her surgeon later this week she'll get more information about hormone receptors and we are praying that she is Her2 negative. 

She has gone for genetic testing and I have a swab kit being sent to my house to have my testing done too. 

We are currently encouraging all family members to be tested. In fact, I'd love to find a genetic researcher to catalog the whole family! 

I have also discovered that John's Hopkins still has tissue samples from my father's autopsy in 2010. We are now looking into having one of those samples tested for known genetic cancer markers. 

Although my mom was negative for the BRCA1/2 genes it could be present in my dad's side of the family. It doesn't matter whether the gene comes from the maternal or paternal side. If a woman tests positive for the BRCA gene there is a greater than 70% chance they will develop breast cancer. 

But wait there's more! 

Did you know that men can test positive too?

A man with BRCA2 is not only at risk for developing breast cancer but has an increased risk of developing prostate cancer as well. 

"Men who carry a BRCA2 gene alteration have a higher lifetime risk of developing prostate cancer. 1 in 4 - 1 in 5 (20-25%) of men who carry BRCA2 develop prostate cancer at some point. Most of these prostate cancers occur over the age of 45. Men who carry a BRCA2 alteration also have a higher chance of getting breast cancer. The chance of this is about 1 in 14 (7%)." (West Midlands Regional Genetic Department. Dorothy Halliday, Consultant in Cancer Genetics Version 1, November 2011, Review, November 2014, Oxford University Hospitals NHS Trust , Oxford OX3 9DU)

So guys...If there is a high incidence of breast cancer or prostate cancer in either side of you parent's families you need to contact a genetic counselor. If you don't know if there is a history of cancer in your family, start asking questions and create a family tree.  

According to the American Cancer Society Breast cancer is the second leading cause of cancer death in women. (Only lung cancer kills more women each year.) The chance that a woman will die from breast cancer is about 1 in 39 (about 2.6%). Unfortunately, breast cancer incidents continue to rise by .5% annually and 85% of those have no family history of breast cancer. 

It can happen to anyone! 

They are still discovering causes and treatments. If caught early enough the 5-year survival rate is greater than 90%. 

I can't emphasize early intervention enough. Do you weekly self breast exam. Pick a day of the week and do it religiously. Pick a style of exam and stick with it. That way you can detect an abnormality right away! 

If you're due for the mammogram, make the appointment. 

It may save your life! 

His Passion

Four years ago this morning I kissed my father goodbye for the last time.

He had been diagnosed with bladder cancer in September and took his final breath on December 3, 2010.

The world has not been the same since.

We all know that our parents are supposed to die before us. In fact, anytime someone loses a child the saying is, "You're not supposed to bury your children." It's a natural order of things to let the parents go first.

That being said, it doesn't make the loss any easier.

Dad was one of the healthiest guys I've ever known. He quit smoking in the '70s, rarely drank to excess, ate well and was not the least bit overweight. What he did suffer from was a genetic predisposition to cancer. Men in our family all get prostate cancer. Dad did but beat it with radioactive seeding. According to the oncologist, it probably wasn't even necessary but dad said that he didn't like living each day with the knowledge that he had cancer in him.

In the end it didn't matter.

Some people just draw a short straw the day they were conceived.  You can't argue with DNA.

After his biopsy confirmed the bladder cancer in September. He was scheduled for surgery in October to have his bladder removed and was trained on how to empty the "bag" that he would be wearing for the rest of his life.

Surgery came and went...the doctor opened him and closed him back up.

In the couple of weeks from the biopsy to surgery, the cancer had grown at lightning speed, breeching the bladder walls and taking over the lower part of his abdomen. There was nothing more that could be done.

He opted for palliative radiation in hopes that it would buy him a little more time but even that wouldn't do much to extend his life or the quality of what he had left.

The family and our friends rallied. We did everything we could to make what time he had left as good as it could be. From coordinating volunteer drivers to radiation and taking dad for his last sail.

Dad, who was a Quaker, turned to his friends and our pastor for spiritual guidance. His belief in God was deep but something he didn't force on others. Over the years we'd had some great conversations about God and spirituality and prior to passing he confided in me that he was concerned about the afterlife as he, "hadn't always been nice to people."

That was the most amazing thing about him.

Even as he lay in bed slowly surrendering to the cancer, his concern was not just about himself but about anyone he might have wronged.

I told him that I highly doubted that if God was willing to forgive those who had done something as heinous as murder, that He would be more than willing to forgive a man who would have yelled at someone because his passion ran high!

Dad was a passionate guy.

If he really believed in something you'd be best to just get out of his way or better yet give him a hand because he's going to draft you to help him anyway. He was instrumental in rescuing a yacht club from near bankruptcy. By the time he stepped down as Commodore the club was in the black, had expanded to put in an in-ground pool, started a sailing school and was holding regular regattas. Mom worked at his side and the club became the family annex. If you came to visit you could pretty much count on working.

Dad's passion easily translated to enthusiasm and you couldn't help but get involved. If you didn't believe in what he was doing he'd be the first to point out that you were wrong and he was known for having a temper and voice to go with it.

One of our friends loved the fact that he could get into a very spirited debate with my dad and when it was over, belly up to the bar and have a beer together. He was not a grudge holder.

He had a great sense of humor but a horrible memory. I could tell him the same joke every year and he'd laugh as if it were the first time he'd heard it.

I loved his laugh.

While he could be a really serious guy at times, he didn't take himself seriously.

Over the years we'd teased him about looking like Inspector Clouseau from the Pink Panther movies and referring to him as Chuckles. One Thanksgiving his sisters teased about attempting a comb-over because he hadn't had time to get his hair cut before the holidays.

He took all of it in stride and would even laugh with us (but did get his hair cut the next day.)

I think that's the thing I miss most...his laugh.

While my boys can look at his picture and know who he is, they will never know his laugh. He would have loved to play with them and I would have loved to have heard him laugh at their antics.

There is not a day that goes by that I do not miss him and I'm not alone. His impact on those around him was astounding! Which is both a blessing and a curse.

While we were all enriched by his presence but we all suffered when he passed. Fortunately, we were left with lots of great memories and stories to share.

While he is no longer here to laugh with us, I take solace in the fact that to this day I can still hear his laughter which makes me smile and warms my heart.