The same goes for hearing the words, "you have cancer."
While my level of acceptance was almost immediate, most people will not share my experience.
With my family history, my breast cancer diagnosis did not come as a surprise but it was still difficult to deal with. 
Once the diagnosis is delivered life takes on a frantic pace with tests, doctor appointments, surgery, treatments etc.
The learning curve is extremely steep and we often don't have time to really process what is going on.
The physical side of the healing process is often the easiest.
The mental and emotional side take time, lots of time.
I admittedly have a relatively short fuse. I have a tendency to spout off then calm down and think things through but one thing that will really piss me off is keep me angry is hearing a fellow cancer survivor tell me that she has been criticized by "loved ones" (who did not battle cancer) that she's not nice enough to people around her.
Excuse me but...
Fuck them!
Until you have endured the surgery, chemo, sat through endless tests and faced the massive world of not knowing if you will live or die, you have NO right to criticize someone.
Walk a mile in their shoes...etc.
By now we all know about the stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Depression, Bargaining, Acceptance. But, it's not a straight line and can look like a frayed knot.
Cancer patients enduring chemo can go through this with every infusion.
It is literally a battle that leaves one exhausted, worn down, defeated, physically scarred and fighting for their life.
The fight changes ones perspective.
It doesn't end until it's completely over and the patient is declared cured.
But...there will always be the tiny little morsel of "what if" in the back of the brain that will surface with every odd feeling.
It never really ends we just do our best to put it behind us and move on.
Once a person has fought for their life they see the world differently.
Things that may have seemed important at one time carry less weight or no longer matter and things that may have brought us pleasure in the past can seem shallow now.
A mom listening to her kids argue over menial crap like the remote can snap at the kids because, well, who has possession of the remote doesn't matter in the big picture.
Does this mean you need to walk on eggshells around the patient? No, it does not. However, don't expect your response to be their response. A little grace goes a long way.
Two years ago I was nearing the end of my chemo treatments and had already undergone a plethora of tests and surgery. I am not the same person I was then. My outlook has changed.
I have changed.
Life has changed.
I am blessed with friends and family who did not lecture me about how I was supposed to be speaking to them. They supported me through the worst time of my life without criticisms about being "nice enough" even when I wasn't.
Healing takes time.
I was allowed to feel what I needed to feel and come to terms with the new me.
It wasn't easy for me and it wasn't easy for them but they did not make it worse with criticisms.
