We Have A Revolt!

The boys favorite place to be is outside. They love to run around in the grass and especially love to follow daddy around the yard "helping" him with different projects.

There are times that I just can't stop what I'm doing and run around the yard with them and, with the weather the way that it's been, I also don't want to be outside!

Hubby discovered a work around for this on rainy days or days when I am too busy to be able to drop what I am doing and go outside. We open the inside door to the garage (with the big door closed) and let them come and go as they wish. They love this and it keeps them occupied for long periods of time.

We've moved all of the dangerous gardening tools to the shed and put the other harmful stuff up where they cannot reach it, etc. Can't baby-proof 100% but we've moved the obvious stuff.

I told my mom that we let them play in the garage and she immediately replied, "Well, I hope you're not letting them play with the tools!"

Really???

I'm not sure if it was because I was exhausted or just tired of these types of "well-meaning" comments, I replied in a rather sarcastic, snippy manor, "You mean I should take the hacksaw away from them? We were going to let them practice trimming the hedges by lopping off their fingers with the pinking shears. Guess we should stop them..."

Yeah...this is what I deal with.

I love my mom to pieces but her constant diatribe of ridiculous comments can really get under my skin sometimes.

I have a home-based cake business and am often up until 2am working a cakes for delivery. There are plenty of days that I am exhausted but have to be up because of the boys. When the exhaustion factor has taken over my fuse gets very short. Not so much for the babies but more so for stupidity!

On those days in particular I avoid Walmart...Just no patience for that sect of society.

The boys are usually a source of amusement for me but some days they leave me at my whit's end...this would be one of those days...

They have figured out how to open the powder room door and usually do so yelling, "BOO!" at whomever is sitting on the potty. This initial introduction is then followed by the shouting of the word pee-pee more times that you can imagine any creature uttering a word. It was cute the first couple of times, now it's just annoying.

When I am not looking they like to open the door and play with the toilet brush - yuck! or remove the toilet paper and roll it around on the floor. I get absolutely nothing accomplished because my time is spent moving them from the door to a toy hoping to divert their attention. As of right now there is a five gallon bucket of spackle topped with a three gallon bucket of ceiling paint in front of the door to keep them out of the room.

Needless to say my productivity is non-existent today.

My eyesight has gotten worse over the years which is a good thing in a sense...it's heightened my hearing which is much needed since I can't see around corners without stopping whatever I am doing...Hence the reason I work until 2am.

I have come to know the sound of certain toys, the door to their bookcase, the cabinet they play in etc. It's the silence and the odd noises that get my attention. On of the noises that I'm sure I'll never tire of is that of my husband struggling to control the boys.

We usually bathe the boys every other night, unless they are really dirty from helping daddy in the gardens. The other night after bath time and after putting them into diapers I went back into the bathroom to drain the tub and rinse the ring of boy funk down the drain. As I was finishing up I heard, "Uh, no, no, NO!!! We have a revolt, we have a revolt!!!"

When I walked into the boys' room the Engineer was standing in the middle of the floor completely naked - diaper nowhere to be found - poking himself in the penis and giggling. Meanwhile hubby has the Stuntman in his lap - sort of - desperately trying to reattach the diaper that he had removed.

The Stuntman was across one of hubby's legs and doing the 'crocodile roll' trying to prevent the re-application of the diaper. He was moving so fast that he appeared to have grown another set of arms and legs.

Hubby looked like he was trying to put a diaper on a spinning octopus.

Both were making lots of noise but neither was coherent because they were laughing so hard.

Evidently the boys had worked together to remove their diapers.

The Engineer slowly pealed the tabs back on his diaper, across the room from daddy, who could not get there in time to prevent said removal and just as the Engineer was successful hubby turned to see Stuntman remove his diaper "Chippendale" style and fling it across the room - Please God do not let this be a premonition of future employment!

This, no doubt, will not be the last time they successfully remove their diapers and fling them across the room...I just pray that the next time they will be as clean as they were this time.

Just Wait Until...

Since my boys were born I have been assaulted by women who, based on their incredibly negative comments, I can only assume hated being mothers.

Everything seems to be prefaced with "just wait until..." and then some stage of development is mentioned: sleeping, feeding, teething, crawling, etc. I never cease to be amazed by the negativity of these miserable ladies and frequently find myself wondering if these are the types of women who raise serial killers or hermits! 

I will give them this much...teething sucks! 

Despite the need to baby-proof the house (baby-proof...Ha!) crawling has been so much fun. They follow me. I can hold a bottle up and say, "Come on" and they crawl to me! We chase each other around the house and play peek-a-boo around the furniture. How can you not love that? 

It seems that we live in a society where instead of sharing the best of times we have to outdo ourselves on the worst of times. Rather than "my dog is bigger than yours" it has become "my dog is sicker than yours." Weird and sad at the same time. 

Any woman who has ever been pregnant will tell you that other women love to tell horrific pregnancy and birth stories to expectant mothers. Like the idea of childbirth isn't already stressful enough we really need to know how your best friend's best friend's sister-in-law's cousin was in labor for 97 hours! Oy vey!

I thought the nightmare stories would end with childbirth but nooooo. Evidently, I'm supposed to hate the different stages of development and have something negative to say about each. Well, that's just not me. 

I prefer to laugh. 

Of course some days with the boys are tough. Did I mention that teething sucks?! Most of the time the boys are on the same schedule but sometimes they end up out of sync and it it feels like I'm tag-teamed all day long. Those days are very long but they are also very rare. I don't dwell on them. I have better things to do like play peek-a-boo! 

Most of the time, my experience is something that I have dreamed of my entire life.  I have happy, sweet babies that love to go for walks around the neighborhood or rides in the car. They love stores and  shopping carts as long as they can see where they are going; we have to push the carts backwards. I call them my "happiness ambassadors" because they make everyone smile. Walmart could only dream of such greeters! 

Could I waste precious time focusing on dirty diapers, barf, ground up cheerios or teething - did I mention teething sucks? Of course I could but why would I? Why would anyone? What a waste of time! I don't look for the negative in motherhood. 

I revel in the positive.

The list of things that I love is long and getting longer: They smile when they first wake up in the mornings or from naps. I can make them giggle just by saying, "Boo!" They love when the "raspberry monster" attacks. They hug and love to be hugged. They love water; bath time and swimming lessons are so much fun. They have infectious giggles. They crawl to me. They crawl on me. They are trying to stand. 

Motherhood is not easy but no one said it would be. In fact, most other mothers are resolute in telling me how terrible it is. 

Which makes me wonder...

If it's so bad, how come I have never been happier before in my life?